Monday, January 26, 2009

on sexism, politics, and other such controversial things in Hungary

Ok, so. I'm a foreigner living in a foreign land. I don't understand the culture, the politics, the social interactions. I know this. But sometimes things happen and it makes my brain hurt. I want so badly to go off on a diatribe, but I know I cannot.

Example. Today I went into 2b for my English lesson. My dear, respectful teaching partner had just finished his music lesson with them. I put the kids on an activity, and while I am circulating the room I notice their music sheets out on a few tables. Now, they usually learn very cheesy songs from the 80s and I find it cute. I'm talking "We will rock you" and "Supertrooper." It's really adorable that my second graders could totally rock any late 70s/early 80s karaoke contest they should ever find themselves in.

So I pick up the sheet and look at what they were learning today: Money, money, money by ABBA. I'll treat you to the first verse.

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball


!!!!!! So now here I am, gaping at the horrible sexism inherent in these lyrics, and at the classism, and at that special brand of late-70s materialism. Now, keep in mind that Hungarians in general are rather more.... traditional than I'm used to. For example, I've never walked into a room behind my teaching partner. I'm not allowed to help men carry things. Little girls, as young as three, are scolded for sitting in sandboxes because of the theory that being cold in the bum region might hurt their fertility, and, thus, their worth as a human being.

So. I don't want the second graders internalizing this message. I don't want the girls internalizing that perhaps they don't need to worry about anything beyond finding a wealthy man to marry. I don't want the boys internalizing that if they should wind up not being wealthy, no girl will want them. I don't want any of them internalizing that money is so damn important, especially in a romantic relationship.

In America, I would have marched up to my teaching partner and been like "WHAT the hell?!?"

But I'm in Hungary. I know he's not particularly sexist. And bringing up the what the hell also opens the whole ESL can-of-worms. If I say, "Do you understand what these lyrics actually say?" which he probably does not, he'll descend into a week's worth of my-English-sucks depression. Either way: I'm offending him.

So what do I do? What can I do, ever? I shut up, and I write a blog, and I continue to be a foreigner in a country that I just don't understand sometimes.

PS: Lyla and I have gone out and obtained internet. However, we are having technical difficulties with it. It should be fixed up in a matter of days, and then I will have mostly-reliable internet in the flat. Win.

5 comments:

Margie said...

Oh the backlash of the movie "Mama Mia"...one of my English teachers was talking about how her daughter knew all the words...

Anonymous said...

Baby that was cute glad you are normal not sexist. Sounds like you are having fun. Enjoy yourself. Your mom and me went for a massage. loved it. If I were rich would go everyday but I am not so go when I can. Love reading what you write. Look forward to it. Be good and be careful Love you Grandma XOXO

Anonymous said...

Remember when I sent you flowers at school due to lyrics you had written. LOL. I love you. MOM o0xo0

Anonymous said...

A frustrated Lauren is a dangerous thing! Do not kill anyone. Just hum "It's electric" when on the edge and breathe slowly.

Also, I demand more updates to the blog. Since I am a man demanding that you (a woman) do that, you must. It's the way it is.

Love ya! Dad xoxo

Anonymous said...

It's just a silly song, no need to get so upset about it. It's not like America is perfect. In America girls are pressured by the media into becoming over sexualized object, airheads and cheerleaders. Their role models are Hannah Montana and Britney Spears' little sister who got knocked up at the age of 16. Every single kid's show on American TV is like that. Very sad. I guess in America girls are supposed to be dumb cheerleaders, get knocked up at least twice by the age of twenty, and then become soccer moms active in their local church, who vote for the republicans and have at least one bumper sticker with the American flag on their gas-guzzling SUV, which is supposed to show their support for the troops that invade other countries and kill innocent civilians all over the world.