A recurring conversation

So I keep having this conversation, or variations on it, this week. I've wound up emailing a few people this. I thought I would just throw it out there so that anyone I've missed can get it too.

How do you do what you want in life? How do you get what you want in life?

Several people have asked me this, because apparently my position as "crazy girl living a random life in exotic locales" makes me an expert of some sort. Others I have taken it upon myself to tell them, because it kills me to see awesome people that I love struggling against their own hangups and insecurities. Yes, I realize that I am a baby at the age of 23. But if you're reading this blog, or if you're my friend, then obviously you care about what I have to say. And this is it; take it with as much salt as you would like.

Step 1. Realize that that picture you have drawn in your head is just that: a picture you drew in your head. It's probably not going to be filled in exactly the way you imagine. Your job will never be quite prestigious enough, you'll never have quite enough time or money, your friends will never love you the way you want them to, your partner will never be quite what you would choose. You will find yourself weighed down in mundane details. Nobody is ever going to exactly understand the intricate workings of your heart and mind.

Step 2. Realize that none of that matters. Because even when life doesn't go according to plan, it goes. And you, right now, have a choice. You can choose to have your life go by safely and mundanely, always making the safe choice that spares you embarrassment and possible disappointment. Or, you can make the brave and terrifying choice to do exactly what you want, and open yourself up to the adventure of life.

Now, I say this with the understanding that most people are confined by moral standards and don't want to go kill someone or die in a heroin binge. I also would suggest that you not do anything to hurt anyone, such as go for a married individual or make others pick up your slack at work.

Step 3. Do that thing you want to do. The worst that can happen is you fail, you fall on your metaphorical face, and everyone judges you for three seconds before the world moves on. The best that can happen is nothing short of miraculous. Usually it's something sort of in between, but at least you won't have to wonder. At least you'll be living the most authentic life you can. So if you want a different job, stop worrying, and go find a different job. If you want that person sitting across from you and you think that maybe they want you too, tell them. If you want to travel, travel. If you want to go out dancing until the sunrise, dance. If you want to sleep, sleep. Listen to yourself, physically and spiritually, and follow what you really want and need. Yourself won't lead you astray.

Step 4. In doing what you want to do, let go. Let go of that picture in your head. Let go of the plan, of wondering what comes next. And instead, live what's happening now. Because it's not going to happen ever again. Time will pass and you will never get the chance to make this choice again. So make it a true one.

I'm not perfect at this by any stretch of the imagination. I would guess that I'm not even particularly good at it. But it's what I hope to; it's what I would like to someday achieve. Honesty in life. It's doing pretty well by me thus far.