Today's frustration, take two

It's worth noting that this is the second draft of today's blog post.  I originally wrote a very long, detailed post that I have decided would be unprofessional to post.

I had a very rough time with a class today.  They were screaming, running, and just being totally inappropriate.  And I don't mean that three or four students were.  I mean that three or four students were being good.  It was pretty much the worst teaching experience of my life.  This class spends the whole day being absolutely shrieked at by their homeroom teacher, so anything I might try is rather inaffective.

The class ended, they went to lunch, and I went to my office to have myself a good cry.  And then the really upsetting part of the day happened, as many of my colleagues took it upon themselves to tell me not to worry, that the class is just like that, that it can't be helped, that there is nothing to be done for them, and so on and so forth.  Es así.  That's just the way it is.

To which I have to say... why do a job you don't care about?  If I'm not being successful in my job, especially when my job is a public service job, and especially when my job is one that could potentially impact the future of many, many children... why the hell would I not be worried?  If kids are so used to being yelled at, if they are so convinced that they are bad that a teacher actually leaving the classroom (as I did today) has no effect on them... why wouldn't I be upset?

I get that not everyone cries as freely as I do, and that's really a good thing for them.  I get that teachers get tired as the years go by, and that it's a thankless job, and that they have families and concerns that I don't have to worry about.  I get that I'm really young.  I get it.  And yet... don't tell me that es así.  I can't handle that.