Saturday, August 22, 2009

Real life, yet not

So I've now been back in Budapest for 11 days. And I've been settling back into life, but of course it is not real life. It's a funny, in between sort of life, where my days are full of nothing yet fly by.

I've been visited by beautiful people that I am lucky to know, and I have slept. We've made our flat into a new home. I've held the rat, and marveled at how lucky I am that she remembers me, that little animals can warm our lives in such a way. I've watched speedy planes buzz low through an obstacle course over the Duna.

On the 20th was my one year anniversary with Hungary. We went up to Gellert hill to watch the fireworks, and they were spectacular. And I thought about my year, and I cried. I couldn't have asked for anything more amazing. I couldn't have asked to grow more, to know myself better. I never dreamed that I would have found a job that I wake up and smile about getting to go to. And I won't even start on the people I've met, because I'll just cry again. So yes, I stood there on top of the hill and watched blurry fireworks explode over the citadel and the castle, and I was so impossibly thankful.

I hope to hold onto that feeling for a long time to come. I hope I can remember it when life is bristly with me, or when I am bristly with life. When I am lonely, or scared. I hope I can close my eyes and see the fireworks go blurry behind them.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lauren Welcome home when does school start don't work too hard. Say hi to Bensallia (can't spell)Talk more again Love and kisses XO Grandma

Dad said...

LL, I am so glad you are having fun and proud of you snd the great adventure you are turning your life into. Keep stretching your horizons to where you want them to be.
Wish I was there for the Red Bull races. VERY cool. I love you and miss you a lot. Love ya, Dad xoxo

Anonymous said...

I am glad you are having a great adventure. Just wish it was closer. I miss you. Love, MOM ox0o0