Monday, September 27, 2010

Infantil

Nowadays, I'm teaching preschool as well as elementary school.  This is, to say the least, a unique experience.  Today I woke up with a raging headache and pounding sinuses, but headed into school anyway.  My first class was with the first primary class, the three year olds.  I walked in and they were screaming, sobbing, and clinging to moms.  It might be worth noting that my lesson starts fifteen minutes after school actually starts, so this had been going on for fifteen minutes already.  We managed to shoo the (not helping the situation by staying around and telling their kids they love them and that they are the best little children in the world) mothers out of the classroom.  Then we spent ten minutes trying to get their smocks on them and get them into their seats while they wandered around the classroom, still screaming at the tops of their lungs.  Finally things got mostly settled, with the exception of four or five who lay limp on the floor, sobbing "Mama... Mama."

The word limp is an important one, because if you pick them up and try to put them on their feet, they simply slump to the floor.  Likewise, if you try to put them into a chair, they melt out of it and wind up half under the table, arm thrown dramatically across their eyes, and continue to weep.

Eventually all but one boy, who would spend the entire forty-five minute class period laying on his face on the ground in the corner hicupping and crying, settled down enough to make a circle and learn the words boy, girl, and teacher.  We then repeated this process in the next class with the other group of three-year olds, though they were more settled down.

They also act, well, like three year olds.  It's stressful.  I don't know what to do with a pantsless child who is crying that their belly hurts, especially when I can't speak their language to them.  I don't react well to being sneezed on or having a child wipe his nose with my skirt.  God bless the teachers who do spend all day, every day with this age.  They are better people than I.

After lunch I had class with the four year olds and then with the five year olds.  One of the four year olds vomited, and of course it got on me.  Of course.

Tomorrow, though, I don't go below third grade.  Tomorrow will be cool.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gross. Take your vitamins.

L's Mom said...

LOL. You will get to know and love them. Wait till one vomits on you or poops his pants. LOL. I love and miss you. Love, Mom xo0o0x

Lauren said...

Um, Mom, did you not see the part where I mentioned that I was, in fact, vomited on?! :(

Anonymous said...

hi baby that was funny and yes I read where you were vomited on you will get use to them eventally I would have thrown up on him as I can't stand pukeCan you send me an address where I can send you a halloween card Love and kisses grandma xoxoxo

Brieggy said...

substitute English for German and make it 32 - 40 hours a week. Yessss....welcome to preschool....

Meg said...

Hey Lauren! This is Meg, we met last year in Budapest; just wanted to send you my sympathies on the preschoolers! That's what I've been dealing with here since January. I don't have any tips for dealing with the bodily fluids (I usually just dodge the ones who look likely to blow and let someone else take care of it), but for keeping their attention/your sanity, not to mention speeding up the learning curve, I highly recommend using media like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XZlWXF_LRk
My school doesn't have projectors, so I just bring in my laptop and show them on it. Good luck acclimatizing to the wee ones!